What do you say when someone is hurting?

I have reconnected with a lot of friends since starting my blog. I have also been blessed to have met a lot of wonderful new people.

I am particularly thankful for one who has become so much more than a blogger buddy--she has become a true friend, in every sense of the word. The fact that we have never seen each other face to face has never stopped us from having wonderful, open and honest communication about some of the most difficult things we have been through here on this earth. I feel fortunate to know sweet Kenzie, and am blessed by her constantly.

A couple of months ago, she posted this wonderful devotional on her blog, and in light of Jana's, Jill's, and Charity's recent losses, I asked her if she would give me permission to repost it on my blog. I hope you will take the time to read and consider this. If you have ever had someone near and dear to you that has suffered any kind of a loss (and who of us hasn't, really?) then, I believe, this will prove to be helpful in knowing how to help them.....because many times, we just do not know what to say.

Have a blessed weekend everyone.

Original post from Kenzie:

Prayerful Silence

The devotional below has spoken to me on so many different levels and after reading it several times over the last few weeks, I have felt compelled to share it. We all have experienced grief, loss or been through great struggles and suffering. Many of us have also walked with others through tragic losses and been on our knees late into the night covering them in prayer and asking for mercy and grace. And yet often, either as the person in tragedy or the friend standing close by, we simply don't know what to say. Sometimes the voids are filled with awkward looks, sometimes they are filled with words that have no relevance, and other times they are filled with words of truly Biblical promise that just don't feel right once they have entered the conversation. I have received all of them and I have done each of them as well and I think the Biblical insight provided here is something that shouldn't be missed. Words are not always needed to fill the air and as someone who has just been through great loss, simply the presence of others or hearing the words "I don't know what to say..." can serve as great a comfort as any. Undoubtedly there are times to speak and times to remain silent... It's prayerful discernment that will give you the right answer. Ask the Lord to guide you and simply follow His lead to know what is most appropriate.

Silence is Golden

A devotional for the day from Women's Devotional Bible- NIV

There's no "how-to" manual describing what to say or do for someone who has suffered a great loss. A mother loses her child to disease, a wife loses her husband to divorce, a family loses their home to fire. What do you say?

Job was suffering. All of his children, servants, flocks and herds were gone. His health and well-being were decimated. Job's wife bitterly responded, "Curse God and die!" As much as she, too, must have been suffering, Job's wife talked too much and too soon.

When Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar, came to see him, the Bible tells us that Job had been disfigured by grief. Job's friends wept aloud, tore their robes and threw dust into the air- the ancient mourning rituals for death or tragic loss. For seven days and nights they did not utter a word. They simply sat beside him in silence. "They then sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."- Job 2:13

Later on, Job's friends tried to explain away his misfortunes and wrongly blamed Job. But at the beginning, they got it right by recognizing that nothing they could say could assuage his grief. Here, they offered him not words, but the comfort of their presence.

When we encounter friends who have suffered great loss, it is easy to drop off a casserole, send a sympathy card or say, "Call me if you need anything." We often rely on pat answers: "God knows best; all things work together for good." Sometimes we speak too much or too soon. Maybe we're fearful in the presence of others' pain, so we babble about meaningless things. Sometimes we're fearful of the roiling emotions lurking below the surface, so we don't even make contact.

Perhaps Job's friends stumbled onto one key to mourning with those who mourn: Have the wisdom to know when to talk and when to stay silent. Solomon said, "There is a time for everything... a time to weep and time to laugh... a time to be silent and a time to speak" (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, 7). You can pray for the wisdom to realize when your presence will speak louder than words. Your presence says, "I'm here for your. I love you. I am walking through this valley with you."

The next time you find yourself eye-to-eye with someone in grief, don't worry about what you will say. God will give you words to speak and the wisdom to know when to keep silent.

Reflection Questions:

1. Has there ever been a time when you were grieving or struggling and someones advice or comments were like pouring salt on a wound? How did it affect you?
2. What was the most helpful thing that anyone has ever done for you during a time of loss or great struggle?
3. How can you show support to someone you know who is struggling?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Illini Homecoming Game

I'm a little late blogging about it (which is currently nothing unusual) but going to last Saturday's Illini game was everything that I knew it would be. Shane and I--well, especially me--had so much fun. A big thank you to Grandma MJ, who, as usual, provided the best care my three little men could ever get!



Here are few highlights for all you suckas that couldn't be there.... *giggle*

Before the game....Lou Henson and Bruce Weber (past and present Illini Men's Basketball coaches) accepting a check for something or other. It was pretty cool to see them both!
Offense getting set on the field

I thought I would try and capture just how enormous the stadium is. The attendance for the day was 68, 385....here was the best I could do on film!

From where I was sitting: the left side of the stadium
Moving from the left to now shooting the center. The end zone area (where all the orange is) is the student section, along with another whole area that you can't see in the pictures

The right side of the stadium, including the new enclosed section up top

And, not pictured was the horseshoe, where we were sitting. It's a huge place!

The students do signs at halftime at every game. Some students are always missing (as you will be able to tell from the spottiness of some of the signs), but it still looked pretty cool from where we were.

Minnesota vs. Illinois....

.....ON.....
....ESPN

Halftime--I'm such a dork, I know, but I love the halftime show.

Shane says I'm totally a band nerd.

By far, the dumbest part of the entire game--the "twirler."

Oh. My. WORD.
She looks like that the entire game, by the way....jetting around to different corners of the stadium, just twirling her little self to death.

Hopefully I didn't just offend any secret "twirlers" who read my blog. You can be my friend if you are a baton girl....seriously. It's okay. Just don't do it in front of me. *giggle*

Illinois did lose by seven (4th quarter was exciting and close--it really was a toss-up right until the very end!) but that really didn't matter all that much to me. I still had so much fun.

It was a really, really great day!

Poor little Cameron

We have a saying at our house.

"If something is going to happen....it's going to happen to Cameron."

It really is true. I don't know what it is--clumsiness; just being 'accident-prone' (and he gets that honestly, let me tell you); if his weight is just not balanced proportionately or what--but this poor child gets hurt about 8 times more than my other two children combined.

And, many times, it is the result of freak accident. Like, when he lost his tooth, for example.

Case in point:

Three days ago, Grandma MJ got the boys new swords to play with. The boys love them, and they are FOAM, so so does mommy. :-) They can swing really, really hard at each other and do little to no damage. *giggle* They love to pretend to be pirates, so the swords are perfect.



Two days ago, Colin and Cameron were both up on the window seat in our front room, pretending to be Captain Hook vs. Peter Pan, and they were pretending that the window seat was 'the plank'.



Of course, our window seat is called just that because it sits right next to our three front windows, which, like most windows, are covered up by blinds. Ours are the kind that you pull a string to bring the blinds up and down. They are similar to venetian blinds, but ours are bamboo. Every morning when I raise the blinds and the cord gets really long, I hook the cord around the window locks so that they are not hanging loosely--every mom knows that that is a major hazard with little ones around, right?



So the boys are playing--and I was right there, right in the same room. I look up, and Cameron takes a hard swing with his sword at Colin.



It happened really fast from there:

• Cameron swung his sword


• His sword whipped around and got caught in the blind cord


• The blind cord came loose from the window lock


• The blind cord whipped around and got caught around Cameron's neck


• Cameron lost his balance up on the window seat


• Cameron fell off the window seat to the ground (about 18 inches) below


• The cord that was around his neck whipped back off, causing this:

This picture, if you can believe it, looks much better than what the wound looks in person. The cord had almost a severing effect, and cut into his skin pretty badly. Ugh.

I, needless to say, was pretty shook up. Everything happened so quickly (like, literally in 3 seconds from start to finish) that I barely had time to react, and the rest of the day I just had visions of having NOT been in the room and the cord NOT coming off his neck as quickly as it did.....I am sure you understand where I am going with that.

Something happening to my children is, as most moms would say, one of my greatest fears.

Then (go back and check the picture again), seriously not five minutes later, this rock-hard bouncy-ball that Colin was playing with bounced up off the kitchen floor and right into Cameron's lip! Agh! It bruised it pretty badly.....the poor kid started crying all over again. It was a rough day, let me tell you!

But, praise GOD, he was okay, and I was just so thankful that it wasn't worse. The wounds are healing pretty nicely, but it just looks terrible! I just feel like people look at him when we go places and I need to say, "I don't beat this poor child, I promise...."

Luke is 2!

Happy Birthday, sweet boy....

Auntie Dev, Uncle Shane, and Colin, Cameron, and Ethan all send you lots of birthday hugs!!

The *next* to the last game of the soccer season....

....and my big boy scored 3 goals!!

We (unofficially, of course) "won" our game today, 4 to 2.

Go Storm, and GREAT JOB Colin!

Seriously....someone in the universe hates me

Or, at least it felt like it today. I don't really believe in that stuff of course, but the events of the morning today nearly convinced me otherwise.....

From inside, it looked like an absolutely beautiful day today. I had some errands to run--"A great day to do it", I thought to myself. The sun was shining, and I thought--"I'll just do my few errands and take the kids to their favorite park" (which just happens to be about 25 minutes or so from our house--we don't usually go there because it is so far, but since my errands were in that general area, it was a great excuse to surprise the boys).

I got the boys dressed in short sleeves and pants, fed them breakfast, tidied up the house a bit, and then we were ready to go.

We opened the front door and were met with a less-than-cool breeze.

I would consider "chilly" to be slightly warmer than accurate. It was almost downright cold.

Ugh. From low 80's to cold in 2 days. Yuck.

So, we all four put on heavy, warm hoodies and were on our way again.

Or, almost on our way.

I got the boys all loaded into the car, got in my seat, and turned the key.

Nothing.

The van was dead. "Oh, great."

But, actually, this particular problem was solved fairly easily. I grabbed my phone, pulled our Explorer up next to the van, pulled out our jumper cables, and had Shane walk me through the how-to of jumping the van over the phone. Shane was nervous on the other end, I could tell. I am not a mechanically minded person, and the sparks and all that were kind of scary....but I got through it, jumped my very first vehicle all by myself (although, when I said that out loud to the boys in the car, Colin gently reminded me that Daddy had actually helped me over the phone, so it wasn't really all by myself), and we now really were on our way.

I got my errands done pretty quickly, and then started to head up north where the park was. Colin, who misses nothing, asked me where I was going--I told him it was a surprise, and then we played a little guessing game the rest of the way to the park.

When I got to the street it was on, Colin knew right away. "The Lane park!" he exclaimed.

"YEP!" I said.

Insert shrieking, hooting, and hollering from all three boys here.

We pulled in, parked, and suddenly I noticed something. All the park equipment was shiny--really shiny.

Oh, no. No, no, no. The equipment was wet.

I got out of the car to examine how wet the playground was. The verdict? Soaked. I mean, puddles on the slide that were the size of Ethan himself. And the swings....well, just forget about it. They were in a lake all their own. I began to rack my brain trying to think of what in the world I had in the car that I could dry the equipment with; we came all this way and by George, my kids were going to play.....

.....but I came up with nothing.

I got back in the car and began to explain. I just felt terrible.

"I'm sorry...." "It's soaking wet...." "Mommy has nothing to dry it off with...." "We'll have to come back another day...."

Insert three dejected and tear-filled faces here.

However, as we were leaving, I came across two official-looking people who were cleaning up the park. I decided to take a shot.

"Do you by chance have anything that I could use to dry off the park equipment?" (Extra-large heavy-duty chamois, or 12 towels, maybe?)

I couldn't believe it. He said he did, and handed me three dirty, stained, disgusting-looking, old stinky shop towels perfectly wonderful small dry towels that I could use to dry off the slides.

I explained to the boys that we could stay and play after all, because of this nice man's help! They were, needless to say, very excited. (Insert the cheering again here.)

So, we got back out, and I started the drying process while the boys waited patiently, watching me. The towels were about as absorbent as you would think, and it took me forever, but I finally got things....well, not dry, but dry enough so that the boys wouldn't soak themselves completely when they came down.

In case you have already forgotten, let me remind you about the day being cold. I would say, it was approximately 50 degrees, and windy was putting it mildly--it was downright blustery. My now soaking wet hands were freezing and beginning to turn purple and become numb.

Ah, the sacrifices we make for our children.

Their laughter and shouts of glee as they shot down the slides made the numbness worthwhile. Well....it helped, anyway.

Okay. Time to rest, and for a bit of peace while they played.

I was shaking from the cold sitting on a bench nearby with the hood of my jacket UP, watching the boys play, when I felt something in my hair.

The leaves were blowing everywhere--I figured I had a leaf under there, so I reached in, grabbed the object, and pulled it out.

Then, I looked down at it.

It was a BEE.

And,

it stung me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I yelped.

All three boys paused and looked over at me. You know how you can tell the differences in cries that your children make? Apparently, they can tell the same of us, 'cause all three of them knew Mommy was NOT joking around.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Colin said.

"Ow, ow, ow!!"

"Mommy!?" repeated Colin, a little more anxious this time.

As calmly as I was able, I replied, "I'm okay, Colin, I just got stung by a bee."

Well, of course, all the boys had to come over and see the bee, talk about where the bee had gone to (we couldn't find that thing anywhere--I flung it pretty good once I discovered what it was, I guess--a little too late, unfortunately), discuss whether or not the bee was dead or not (we decided that it for sure had died after stinging me), and then they took turns giving my now-not-so-numb finger kisses to help the burning go away.

And then, the sympathy was over.

The next order of the day?

Play a game, I suppose in my honor, called, "I'm going to sting you or you're going to sting me," which consisted of deciding who was going to be the "sting-er" and who was going to be the "person-fleeing-from-the-bee-in-order-not-to-be-stung--a.k.a. the sting-ee."

At least I inspired some creativity. Some kids just call that tag. Mine called it "the stinging game."

So, all the bee hullabaloo finally died down, the boys were playing again, and, well, now I actually could finally relax.

As I am sitting on the bench, watching the cute little squirrels chasing each other, trying not to drown my sorrows, I heard a cracking noise.

Those 'cute little squirrels' were now above me, plotting against me doing something. I couldn't tell exactly what it was.

And then....

....two GIANT acorns from the oak tree above me fell and hit me square on the head.

Isn't that just the kicker? I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Now you see why I titled this post what I did.

WHAT ON EARTH?!?

Happy 3rd Birthday, Cameron

Because of computer trouble, I wasn't able to log onto the internet and do this yesterday. It's a day late, but certainly no less heartfelt. Click here if you would like to see Cameron's birth story and a few pictures of the day of his birth that I posted last year.

**October 14, 2008**

Three years ago, God blessed me with one of the four sweetest gifts I have ever been given. Cameron, I love you dearly--there is never a day that goes by when you are not the cause of fierce laughter in this house! You bring us so much joy, and I thank God every day that He chose me to be your mommy.

At 3 years old, you:

• ride a real bike with training wheels quite well
• can go potty all by yourself...but still need help putting your pants back on *giggle*
• love dinosaurs, especially the T-Rex or, "sharp tooth," as you say
• know all your ABC's, some phonics, and can count to 100 if I help you get started on each new group of ten (twenties, thirties, etc.)
• like to color, paint, and play with Play-Doh
• love to be outside doing anything
• are a puzzle fanatic--you have YET to find a puzzle you can not master in just one or two tries
• love all of the Veggie Tales, but CARS is still your absolute favorite movie
• love love love trucks of all kinds: semis, tractors, cement mixers, garbage trucks....anything large that moves on four or more wheels! You can also correctly name many different trucks: combine vs. tractor is one that kills me every time. If I say, "Look, there's a tractor!" you say, "No, mommy, dat a combine!" .... and you are always right
• Love food, and love sweets, just like your momma
• Have a contagiously sweet personality that everyone around you can not help but love

Cameron and his friend, the "sharp-tooth" sharing some chips at Chili's

Cameron and Daddy, sharing a little nap time

Cameron loving his new balloon--the little things always make him happy!

Cameron and Mommy

Happy 3rd birthday, sweetie.

I love you mostest; I love you bestest; I love you!

(sooooo much)!

I actually did it.

I gave my boys a bath.

If you have been a long-time reader of my blog, you will know that this is not something I am a big fan of. We switched to showers ages ago....(click there to see why we switched and how much the boys have grown since their first shower!)

But Kathy's sweet post and pictures of bathtime with her 3 boys totally inspired me.....and I must say, bath time was much different this time than it was the last time I tried it (many months ago)!

Ethan didn't need any help to stay above water *grin*, and they all played and shared tub toys very well together. We bathed in the new bathroom that has a tub with glass doors to keep all of that splashing water in--and there was tons of it, let me just tell you!

While the boys played to their heart's content, I kept a careful eye on them and did a few minor chores (closeby, of course) around the house. I must say--It was actually enjoyable for me! Naturally, the boys loved it too.

We may will have to do bathtime more often!

Boys in Trees

I've written a couple times before about my love of the tree that is in our front yard.


I've gotten some great shots of my boys in Our Tree before; here are the latest and greatest....

Ethan Ryan*, almost 2 years old

*affectionately nicknamed "E Ry" by his father (and it has stuck!); occasionally is still called "Baby E" by mommy; also goes by simply "E"

Cameron Douglas*, almost 3 years old

*a.k.a. Camburger; Cami Douglas; Cam Cam; or "you-little-stinker"

Colin Matthew*, almost *sniff* 5 years old

*a.k.a. Colly-Burger; Goose (as in Silly); but generally known as "Col"

I love our tree.

Missouri--Day One

We had such an amazing time during our trip to Missouri. It was over much too quickly, and we miss everyone down there already!

Here is a part of our first day in pictures. We headed down to Branson (about 45 minutes away) to see some sites....

Checking out the stuff I couldn't care less about goodies (and tons and tons of real--dead; stuffed; but real--very large animals) at Bass Pro. Actually, despite myself, I did really like this place....there was tons of cool stuff to see. It wasn't all *gasp* hunting and fishing!

The boys loved the fish tank....

.... and enjoyed the ride on the camo 4-wheeler (all except Ethan, who was getting majorly squashed by his brothers)

Cameron by the fish (again)

Then we went to (my kind of place) this really great shopping area called The Landing. There was a lady there who was doing balloon animals for the kids, and the boys were all absolutely enthralled by her!

See?

(I love the finger on the chin move by Cameron....really shows just how hard he was paying attention to "Sugar, the balloon animal clown." *giggle*)
Ethan loved his little RolyPoly....

....and Colin loved his frog. (not pictured: Cameron's "sharp tooth" dinosaur, which he also loved *grin*.) These animals managed to stay alive and well our entire trip, despite many 'unfortunate incidences'....

Our lunch destination...The Fish House. It was wonderful!

Colin and Gram inside the restaurant

Cameron (who was really getting a kick out of something at this moment, but I don't remember what exactly it was) and Mommy

Ethan discovered that my headband enabled him to play a mean game of Peek-A-Boo

Fun at the fountain

The boys enjoyed this little car stroller much better than our normal one....we managed to fit all three of them into a one-seater!
Ethan's seat was especially comfy--the place you keep all the packages held him quite nicely!