Random funny things heard in and around my house today

I was telling the boys tonight about the first speeding ticket I ever got. I was on my way home from a PartyLite show, and was in one of those small towns where the policemen just yearn to pull people over for going like three m.p.h. over the limit....anyway, the conversation went something like this:

Colin: "Mommy, why did you get a ticket?"

Me: "Because I was going too fast, honey. I was in a hurry to get home."

(several questions later....)

Colin: "But, Mommy, why were you in a hurry to get home?"

Me: "I don't know honey, I just was."

Colin: "Were you hungry or thirsty? Were you just tired?"

Me: "*sigh* Yes, buddy. All of those. I was hungry and thirsty and tired."

Then, it was quiet for a few minutes as the boys processed my criminal history. Suddenly, Cameron piped up:

"Did the policeman take you to jail, Mommy?"

Colin: "Oh. Jail is a bad, bad place....."

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The boys and I were in my bathroom tonight. I was getting ready, and the boys were doing....well....various boy things. I noticed Colin watching me intently as I was putting on my mascara.

Colin: "What's that, Mom?"

Me: "It's called mascara."

Colin: "Manscary?"

Me: "Mas-Care-Ah."

Col watched me for a minute, and then said: "Are you doing everything you can to look very pretty?"

Me, laughing: "Yeah, buddy. I sure am."

And then he said:

"It's a lot of work, huh?"

hmmmph.

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And later....

Colin: "Daddy, look!"

Shane: "What, buddy?"

Colin: "Mommy has pretty stuff underneath her eyes. Look at it!" (he was referring to my eyeshadow, which, don't worry, was on top of my eyelids, not under)

Shane: "Oooooh, pretty!"

Colin: "It's shimsy, isn't it?"

Pretty sure he was going for a cross between shimmery and some other glitzy word.....

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Cameron and Colin were racing on a very large track tonight, and it wasn't going so well for Cameron. Colin finished *just a bit* quicker than he did. We looked up, and here came little Cameron, trickling across the finish line, with tears streaming down his face.

Cameron: "*sob, sob* Mommy, I just tried to be fast and I just wasn't! I wasn't fast, I wasn't fast...."

Me: "Oh, buddy! You did a great job, you were very fast!"

Colin, ever so sensitive, puts his arm around Cameron and says: "Cameron, I'm sorry I'm so fast. I just can't help it....next time, I won't do my best. I won't try so hard!"