Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday Musings

It seems to me that there are a lot of 'down' moments as a Mommy.

It's an extremely rewarding but grueling job.  Lots of feelings of inadequacy; feelings of failure; feelings of frustration.  Times I feel like I've blown it completely.  Times I feel like "Man, is it too late? Have I totally screwed this kid up for life?"

No? Just me?

{At least Carolyn gets me.  Her post the other day about those same feelings and the consequences of our actions with our children was dead on--and she could have been reading my mind as she typed!}

Well, Care, for the record, I hope it is just us.  But I believe I can say with some degree of certainty that it most likely isn't.

'Downs' come often for me.  It's nice to be having some 'ups'.

It's been a good day. A great day. A great several days.  I am in a good place right now, and for that, I am so thankful.  

I have felt God's hand on me and my family in the past couple of weeks like I haven't felt in a long time. Like, almost tangibly.  I always know in my head that God is right there in the room with me at all times--but the last couple of weeks things have been different.  I can't describe it, but it's a great feeling.  To know He is there and that He is helping me do the things He wants me to--sure, that's great.  But beyond that, to actually feel His presence?


Things I have been praying for are starting to happen--in my life and in others'. Very specific things that I feel like are almost signs God is giving me. Prayers--specific ones, and ones I've been asking God for quite some time now--being answered. For me. For my children. For my husband.  For my family. For my friends. For my church members and for my church as a whole.

It's like God is just gently whispering to me.

"See, Devin? See? I am at work here. It may not always seem like it, but I am."

The words almost escape me.  The best I can come up with at the moment is:

It's super cool.

Ups. Downs. We all have them.  I know there are lots of hard times and difficult issues that we all deal with on a hourly/daily/weekly/yearly basis throughout our lives as Christians.

But I'm going to enjoy this mountaintop experience like no other, while God is allowing it.  I'm going to praise Him and thank Him for each little blessing He sends my way. 

And I'm going to do my derndest to remember all of this goodness the next time God leads me into the valley--and keep in the forefront that, no matter what, God is good.  All the time.


Jen said...

I feel the same way Dev. It is hard being a mom. There are LOTS of ups and downs. I fail everyday. I have been thinking how wonderful it is that God's grace and mercy is new everyday. I sure don't deserve it. God is good!

Carolyn said...

The steadfast love of the Lord NEVER ceases. His mercies NEVER come to an end. They are new EVERY morning. GREAT is thy faithfulness.

Thanks for your your love and support. It is nice to walk, and fall, but always get up, alongside friends.

Praising God with you that you sense Him close and that you are doing well.

May it continue!

Holly said...

Well said! Trust me, it's not just you.. Being a mom & a wife most times is a thankless job & sometimes it IS hard to keep your head up. :)

Bethany @ Our 4 Sons Plus 1...Super Cute Girly Girl said...

Awesome post, Devin! I think we can all relate to those feelings, and I'm thrilled that you sense God's presence and provision so clearly right now- that is really super cool! :)

Jessica said...

I love this! Its like you were reading MY mind!!!

God is so Good. I am so thankful He reminds me of that sometimes!!