Pregnancy "Perks"?

You can be sure, when you're pregnant, that many--if not all--of the following things will occur:

--You will receive all kinds of unsolicited advice on everything from what you should name your child to what kind of diapers to use and what kind of feeding/sleeping method works best. Whether you want to hear it or not.

--Random people will touch your belly without asking and act like they have the right to do so. You will feel like saying: "Would you touch my belly if it didn't look like a basketball? I didn't think so." But you won't, because you're just that nice.

--After about month seven, you won't be able to walk from here to there without getting out of breath. We won't even talk about stairs.

--Strangers will pick something up for you if you drop it on the ground. Without even asking.

--When you do actually have to bend over and pick something up yourself, it. will. not. be. pretty.

--Women--in most cases, mothers themselves--will look at you pitifully at the end of your pregnancy and just go, "Oh, honey. Hang in there." Because they understand.

--Your bladder will shrink to the size of a walnut, thus forcing you to make 19 bathroom trips each and every night. It's just the body's way of preparing you for those many middle-of-the-night feedings.

--Speaking of sleeping problems, forget about good sleep after 32 weeks or so. Comfortable sleeping positions will simply not be found beyond this point. Sleeping on stomach: impossible. Sleeping on your back: will just make you feel like there is a person on top of you that is squashing all of your internal organs, including your lungs, therefore making it impossible to breathe ('cause there is a person on top of you who is squashing all of your organs.) Sleeping on your side is the best/only real bet--however: be prepared to be awakened every little while or so by ear pain from sleeping on one side for so long. Do your best to heave your giant self over to your other side, and commence sleep again (until your other ear wakes you up, crying because you've laid on it for too long.)

--You will grow your own built-in table for books, drinks, and plates. *grin*

--You will feel all of your favorite foods come back in a matter of minutes/hours in the form of fire in your esophagus.

--You will begin to actually enjoy cocktails of two Tums followed by a chaser of Gas-X, due to the above stated reason and those medicines' esophagus/stomach calming benefits.

--With each subsequent pregnancy, you will delay pulling out your maternity clothes a bit longer. At 37 weeks, I still have yet to wear any maternity pants, thanks to the Bella Band.

--A shoehorn becomes a necessity, rather than a luxury.

--When you wear your super cute knee socks, and then you take them off at the end of the day, the super cute designs on those knee socks will still be embedded in your legs for at least a couple more hours (due to the swollen state of your legs).

--Horizontal stripes do add 10 pounds. *giggle*

{37 week belly pic}

Somehow, it's still a joy. And, it's still worth every minute.