The questions we Moms are forced to answer

An actual conversation between me and Colin today:

Colin, gazing out the window of our van and noticing that there were some "bird spots" on it: "Mom, why do birds go potty all over everything?"

Me: "Well, I'm not really sure why they do, honey."

Colin: "But, they go potty everywhere. On our car, on our house, on our driveway, in our yard, at our church, on our--"

Me, interrupting--because, if I hadn't, he would have listed 207 things that birds go potty on--: "Yes, Col, they go potty all over. They don't go in a specific spot, they just go wherever they want to."

Colin, after thinking quietly for a moment: "Mom, how do birds wipe themselves with their teeeeeeeeeeeeny little arms?"

Me, giggling almost uncontrollably at the thought of birds with arms: "Well, Col, birds don't have arms, remember? They have wings, with feathers on them."

Colin, thinking about that for a moment, says: "Oh. Well, then, how do they wipe themselves with their teeeeeeeeeeeeeny little feathers, then?"

Me, through more giggles: "Well, Col, they don't really wipe themselves. They just go. That's it."

Colin, thinking again, replies: "Oh. Well.....that's gross."

And that was the end of the conversation.