Eight techniques of being a soccer goalie

by Cameron Douglas

Block the goal from the front
When that doesn't work....

Block the goal from the side

When that doesn't work....
Block the goal with your cute little *bum*

When that doesn't work...

Get bored, sit down, and just hope the ball doesn't go in

(though, as proven by this goal in progress by Colin--this

technique is generally very uneffective)

When that doesn't work.....

Enlist your little brother to come and help you block shots

When that doesn't work....

Con your little brother into turning the goal upside down

so that no one is physically able to score

When that doesn't work....

Scream at the oncoming scorer, and hope it scares them away from the goal

(also obviously not effective as evidenced by the ball heading inside the net)
And, finally, when this doesn't work...

Go ask Daddy to let you off goalie duty so you can join

in the real fun of the game like everyone else!

The End.